“At night, I think about my piano in its ocean grave, and sometimes of myself floating above it. Down there everything is so still and silent that it lulls me to sleep. It is a weird lullaby and so it is; it is mine. There is a silence where hath been no sound. There is a silence where no sound may be. In the cold grave, under the deep, deep sea.” – The Piano
I find myself unable to sleep, now being 1:17 am… so many thoughts in my head. I just finished watching The Piano and each time I watch it… it always gets me thinking… about what I can not say. For a while, I had the strange feeling of fear. I lay in my bed, curled in the fetal position… thinking… what am I afraid of right now? I could not tell you what. I just lay there… my mind racing with to many things. I wish the thoughts in my mind could simple blow away… but instead they are trapped…. bouncing around in every which way… unable to escape as if a force field was keeping them in. I am so alone right now… I hate the night because of it… I feel so alone at this time… during the day it does not get to me as much because I am busy, but at night I simply lay here… with my thoughts. I want to lay next to someone… but who? Tim? No, he most likely will never come to my house… I always have to come to him. I want someone to pursue me and want me enough to go out of their way to see me… when will I have that? i am not sure. Well surprisingly I have gotten tired since beginning this page. I will leave at this… I don’t want to be alone at night anymore… I want to fall asleep next to someone for the rest of my life.
